i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
