whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize