dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
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I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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