making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
