i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
