do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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