What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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