My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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