He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize