covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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