Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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