Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
