I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
