I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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