Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
