I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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