you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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