i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
