Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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