She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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