i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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