her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
