Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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