JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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