i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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