I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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