Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize