guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
