You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize