..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
