Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
