Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
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I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize