I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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