I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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