Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
wow bdsm is so cute
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