yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
