He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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