my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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