i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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