All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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