I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize