Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
