I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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