And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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