either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
