When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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