I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
