the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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