He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize