He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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