He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
