Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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