mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
