Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
