You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
