Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
