You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
