Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
