How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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