Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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